For the past year (or possibly more) I’ve taken part in a really ugly endeavor called comparing myself to others and feeling incredibly inadequate.
And yes, I mean that I’ve taken a VERY large part in this.
My main mode of such action? Facebook.
Though I’m GRATEFUL for a way to stay in touch with my precious friends (and clients) around the world, if I’m being honest, lately it’s just become a black hole of awfulness for me. I sit and I feel like less of a mother. I see images from other photographers and come to the conclusion that I suck. Sometimes I have even grieved what we could be doing if we didn’t have kids…or had more money…or had more guts…or… And I’ve imagined most everyone else to be doing life in a much better way than I am.
But there’s something I can do about it.
I can have my husband change my password and not tell me until after we document a sweet couples’ wedding on August 10th.
I realize this could probably hurt my business. I realize I probably won’t feel as connected to some really great friends. BUT…the health of my soul is worth it to me.
It’s time to start taking in how God feels about me and stop the comparison game/pity party for me that I usually go through. It’s time to connect with my kids. And not have that “outlet”. (yes. This scares me.) It’s time to simply focus on my husband or my tasks once my kids go to bed. It’s time to force myself to make new friends and go above and beyond to really connect with some old ones.
With that said, I do adore staying connected with friends and clients and friends I haven’t officially met yet. I’ll be here sharing my life and thoughts and the stories that I’m blessed to have come into my life. And I will personally respond to comments. And you are welcome to email me anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org. We are going through a new transition right now as Ted is going back to work full time and I am fully devoted to my kids without any official office hours as I’ve had in the past, but even if it takes a little extra time, I’ll get back with you. Who knows – I may have so much more time I’ll realize it’s a lot easier than I think.
And to all of you whose birthdays I’m not notified of – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Thanks for joining me here. I’m truly grateful for all of you who come and share encouraging words, refining words and your stories. So grateful.