Amy Paulson

For all of you who know my dad…
My dad just recently learned that he has a blood disorder. The good news? He’s doing well and this was caught early.
The EXTRA beautiful news? My dad for years has been passionate about donating blood. Up until recently, he gave faithfully every time he could. Giving blood? That was EXACTLY what his body needed and has most likely kept him from liver damage.
I write all of this because the kind-hearted thorough doctor does want to do a liver biopsy to make sure that my dad’s liver is doing well and remains without damage. Which…can definitely weigh on your mind.
And this also happens to be where you come in…
Want to help me with a special project?
Let’s fill up my mom and dad’s minds with SO many fun memories and kind words that they don’t have time to even think about the biopsy.  So…if you have a funny or just great Harv and Peg story – please share it in the comments.
If you would just like them to know you care and you’re praying – feel free to share that in the comments.
If you’re a kind friend who doesn’t know my dad, but you just want them to know you’re praying and you care…share it!
With your help, we’ll have them overflowing with kind words we all wanted to share anyway and so many memories the time will fly by to the biopsy on Wednesday…
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your help. I can’t wait for them to read your words!  (If we’re friends on FB, you are welcome to share your comments there!  No matter what – I’ll get them to him!)

We’re moving.  Again.

Not quite so far, but a change nonetheless.  Which means boxes.  And packing said boxes.  And lots of things that sometimes leave me feeling overwhelmed.

But yesterday – I set out to tackle some boxes and make things happen…

I asked my oldest 2 to go upstairs and get Hannah’s stuffed animals from her room.  A few minutes later, I went to the steps to get something and found them with a big, flat piece of cardboard LOADED with stuffed animals on top.  I then watched them “slide” the animals down the stairs on said cardboard and could not contain my laughter.  I then went back to packing as they decided to repeat the process with more animals.

A few moments later, I heard a MUCH heavier load come down.

It was MY DAUGHTER.

She slid down the stairs on the cardboard “Home Alone” style.

TRUE STORY.

Go feel better about your parenting now.

In a not so related story – the other day I chose to be brave and I confessed to a sweet friend with tears in my eyes – “I have NO idea what I’m doing.  Could you teach me how to do life?”

She looked deep into my eyes and possibly my soul and said “Amy, I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

So just in case you’re there with me – just know we’re in this sacred space together…

He is my joy.

My laughter.

My ball of energy and hilarity.

Oh how I love this little man…

Though I entered motherhood unexpectedly, during those 9 months of freaking out and wondering how on earth I could raise a kid without losing him or her, I reached a few conclusions.

I would give myself fully to my kids.  The very best I could do.  100%.  They would eat their veggies.  They would be polite.  They wouldn’t watch TV often…

For a long time, that’s exactly what I did.  Hannah didn’t watch TV until well into her second year of life.  I taught her Spanish and she could count fluently from 1 to 10 in both English and Spanish before she was 2.  I thought I was awesome.

Then Jayden came.  He was pretty well convinced that sleep was an “if I get around to it” kind of thing.  He moved.  A lot.  He wouldn’t do anything I tried to get him to do.  My dream started slipping.

To top it all off, a few months before he turned 2, I found myself unable to walk.  Which kind of gets in the way of being a fully present, 100% ANYTHING…especially when that thing is mom to 2 energetic kids who are 4 and under…  Movies were MY BEST FRIEND.  I started to invent games that centered around mommy laying down on the couch.

But, after a few months, some strong pills and a WHOLE lot of work, I started to feel like soon I might emerge from my Disney/Elmo parenting my children hiatus and engage once again.  I had plans…

And then a little boy started growing within my frail/failing body.  My body fought back.  But this little man fought harder and was born nearly 2 years ago.

These days?  My littlest man barely speaks ENGLISH and he is 2 months away from being 2.  His love language is hitting and so far he is happy to share all that love with ANYONE.  Boy or girl…  And truthfully, you could not pay me enough to take him with me to the grocery store.  EVER.

Those perfectly behaved children who have a fully present mom?  That dream is gone.

It probably got flushed down the toilet when my middle man put his head in the toilet…right after he peed.  (True story.  Even better?  The story of how I found out why his hair was wet right before we went to pick up Sis from school…)

But this is better.  I realize people may look in horror upon some of the events that currently characterize my every day life.  But I’m starting to love it.  This spunky – we SOOOOOOO don’t have it all together, my kids have dance parties EVERYWHERE kind of life.

I’m starting to soften.  To realize what’s important and what’s not.

Which leads me to today…

Yep…in case you didn’t fully see it…that’s my little man with his brother’s undies on over his pants.  It’s his tribute to Quail Man, of course…  (Please ignore the chunks of apple.  Or not.  Either way)

For months he has carried a pair of Thomas undies around every morning.  Today, he tried to put them on.  After a few hours I helped.  He then refused to take them off.  So yes, my child was the one playing outside in the yard with Thomas Underwear over top of his clothes.  The sweet neighborhood kid who came over didn’t even seem to notice.

Welcome to my new way of life.  And to dreams that are starting to get better.