the lizard

My mornings while Ted traveled often looked the same:

Wake up.  Waffles into toaster.  Grab milk. Fill cereal bowls.  Make eggs. Wake sleepy children using silly names for added effect/chutzpah and just to keep myself entertained.

This particular morning started like any other.  I checked all the boxes on my task list that would make it possible to get my daughter to school by 7 am for chorus.

She grabbed her backpack and we started for the van, confident and proud of our work that would get her to chorus on time.

As we approached the last hurdle – the hallway out to the van, my eyes noticed a little lizard on the wood floor next to the garage door.  “That’s weird. I don’t remember the kids having any lizard toys… I wonder when that joined our home.”

As I left my eyes there and pondered how another toy was added to our home without my knowledge, the toy MOVED.  This led to the stunning realization that this was NOT a toy. It was a real lizard. IN MY ENTRANCEWAY.

At this point, I was left with three potential options.

  1. Ignore said lizard due to our time constraints and hope it remained in that one particular spot by the time I was back from dropping Hannah off.
  2. Try to grab said lizard though my coordination before coffee is less than desirable.
  3. SCREAM for my son to come and be the hero.  This mama is not going to win in a showdown with a lizard.

I chose option three obviously.

Jayden (the hero) came bursting around the corner ready to serve in whatever way he needed as he sensed the ABSOLUTE desperation in my voice.

“Lizard!!!!!  Get it.” (My ability to speak in complete sentences was hindered greatly due to the hour of the morning and the nature of the event.  And the lack of coffee…)

My son went to work while I watched the entire escapade and took over role of head cheerleader/shouter of obvious directions. This lizard seemed to have been trained in the art of both the zig and the zag.

Luckily, my son was no quitter.  He valiantly chased the lizard and cornered him. After the high-speed chase around our front hallway, he proved victorious in obtaining the lizard.  All was well. And the lizard was so adorable when such capable hands held him.

But this momentary reprieve was destined to end.  Because all of this hulabaloo had stirred the attention of my 4 year old.  This precious child then decided his entire life was OVER if he did not get to hold said intruder.  His trail of tears indicated imminent death from lack of holding the lizard. Cries fell upon our ears and we all decided that we would do whatever it took to MAKE IT STOP.  In this particular case, that meant we handed this leaping lizard over to the adorable yet unreliable grip of my 4 year old. His tears ended, a smile took over his face as his hands grasped our new green friend.  But this crafty lizard saw his opportunity amidst our stupidity and leapt for his life. Our precious moment turned into a mad scramble with kids running, voices raised, legs flying and the second rescue mission commencing.

As my eyes widened to take in the ridiculous nature of this scene, Jayden lifted his cupped hands to reveal the rascally lizard.  After goodbyes and soft kisses were shared, the perpetrator was released into the wild. My daughter and I rushed to the van amidst hysterical laughter as we made our way to chorus – one lizard lighter and one late excuse richer…

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