Sweet wonderful anyone who is still here – I love you.
Thank you. The past year has held more than I could have imagined or anticipated. Ted’s travel schedule amped up, we pulled my daughter out to homeschool her and I had to make the hard, but best choice to simply bow out of anything beyond our family for a while. Solo parenting is a big THING. (Side note: to everyone single mom out there – I SEE YOU. You brave warrrior… Showing up and loving and ALL THE THINGS. I love you.) So much has happened and I hope to one day share more about all of it. But for now, I want to start sharing some things I learned in the past year as I handled new and unexpected situations. Just in case it helps any of you out there…
Unexpected situation 1: you find an injured vulture has taken up residence under your car….
Let me save you the multiple google searches including, but not limited to, “vulture under van Gwinnett County” and hours spent calling animal shelters and animal control…
NO ONE WILL COME HELP YOU. Unless you pay them.
It is sad and disheartening, but true. No one will come to your rescue. Animal control only intervenes with domestic animals and when the life of a child is in jeopardy. And though it is tempting, you probably shouldn’t put your 4 year old next to the vulture under your van to incite their help on a technicality. Their best piece of advice will be to wait until tomorrow morning and hope he leaves.
(Let’s have a moment of silence as we consider that I learned this information over 90 minutes of phone calls all while being encircled by my three children and three neighbor children who thought they should feed the bird under our van.)
Your other option? Gather the vulture in a box and drive him to a shelter. This option is not really an option for a variety of obvious reasons. Like…3 kids. And A LIVE VULTURE. And traveling I-85 during Atlanta’s rush hour.
This kind of thing could occur on a day when you literally have no food in your house and desperately need to go to the grocery store. Actually – that’s exactly when this kind of thing will occur. You are faced with two choices: a showdown with the vulture or with your hanrgy children. Neither option will seem attractive. Eventually, you will decide that it’s you against the vulture.
Here are your options for communicating to the vulture your desire for him to LEAVE:
The car alarm on your vehicle. My vulture was not phased in the slightest, but maybe yours would be.
Squirting him with the water hose. (I was too scared for this)
Texting your friends so people can join you in the journey and you can avoid actually dealing with any of this.
If you find yourself choosing option 3, I pray that you have amazing friends with whom you can share this moment..
At first, these friends will not believe you. Because…let’s be honest…a vulture under your car is not exactly a familiar occurrence for ANYONE EVER. You’ll need to send them photographic evidence.
*That black blob under my van? The injured vulture. Sorry it’s not clear, nor does it help you see his VAST WINGSPAN, but I had other things on my mind.
At this point, you may have an amazing friend who order pizza for you and your entire family and has it delivered. If this is the case, consider yourself SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED. Thank God for this amazing person and GO INSIDE and laugh about the absurdity of it all.
And if you happen to be as lucky as I was? That pizza delivery person will scare away your vulture!
Care to share your stories and advice about handling the crazy that comes when your spouse is traveling? Because I’d sure love to hear them!