I was convinced for the longest time that it was a feeling. And it is. Yet, it’s more.
It’s a choice.
It’s one more hug. It’s choosing to come back and try again. It’s pacing floors at 1 am with an infant who decided now was the time to party. (A party you wish you could kindly decline attending) It’s seeing the best in your spouse when you’re so sleep deprived you mistake formula for creamer in your coffee. It’s living a portion of your life in the bathroom because the sound of the shower is the only thing that seems to comfort your little one. It’s football holds and one more story and trying to take care of yourself so you can care for others who need your help.
These parents keep showing up and choosing love. The road has not been easy, but they keep choosing a story that tells LOVE.
Sweet Paulson Family,
Sometimes I fear it could come across as a sappy, too easily spoken phrase when I tell you how much I love you. I try to find bigger, better words with more weight and grandiose-ness, but they never find their way into my mouth. So here it is, plain, simple and yet so profoundly felt – I love you.
The way you two have loved your daughter through these months has inspired me and challenged me. It’s beautiful, really.
And sweet little baby girl, oh, I love you. You are filled with so much LIFE inside a sweet, little body. I imagine it’s been hard. There is so much to discover, so much love to share, so much to do and I see that your little body cannot quite keep up with and allow you to do all that’s brewing in you. You are a gift. I cannot wait to see how you change this world – because you will. You will melt hearts and bring joy and life to all the people you meet. I’m hoping and praying though that you can be patient with yourself along the way. It’s a hard thing to learn for those of us with so many dreams and so much brewing in us. You’re ready to tackle the world and yet your body isn’t quite allowing you to do so just yet. Hang in there, sweet girl. Rest in the love your mommy and daddy (and extended family) are pouring over you. It will come. In the meantime, please, oh please, would you consider sleeping through the night? And trying some deep yoga breaths for your mommy and daddy? It helps. I promise.
The good news though? Your mommy and daddy love you no matter what. They are already showing you that. And that, my sweet little niece, is the most beautiful of gifts. May your heart always know what they are showing you now – they will love you NO MATTER WHAT. Because that kind of love? That’s what changes the world…
PS: Yes they are way too many photos, but when you’re the proud aunt (and sister-in-law) – you get to post AS MANY AS YOU WANT!!!!