I laid there unable to keep my mind from doing double back-flips with an arabesque.
My heart began to race. And that eery all-the-blood-just-left-my-extremities came on in a flash.
It’s officially begun. The countdown. And the holy-cow-I’m-going-to-lose-it-moments.
The truth is?
I’m scared. Really scared.
I’m scared of chasing this dream. I’m scared of moving. I’m scared I’m going to hurt my kids in the process. I’m scared this photography business will flop. I’m scared of how much I’ll miss my friends.
Bottom line: I’m scared of failing.
Everything. And everyone.
And of course, like any good kids would, my boys decided not to nap this afternoon.
Even though my body was exhausted after a 5am start (boo Daylight Savings Time.) with children, I pulled them all into our bed. And they giggled. And smiled. And made ridiculously cute and magical “melt-you-into-a-pile-of-mush” coos. And I tried to see the truth amidst all the anxiety.
This is what matters. Cuddles, giggles, hugs, smiles and being fully present
And this will be in Atlanta. And this will continue even if we do fail. This is not dependent on a place, a job, a salary or even a home. And this...this is magical.
Tears will come…and they should. We’re leaving so much and walking into an incredible unknown space. But I will cling to this God who promises that He goes before us and with us. Quite honestly, we’re completely banking on Him. But I’ve heard He’s supposed to be able to keep us from falling. So on we’ll go.
Here’s a little glimpse from my last shoot before my break that just melts me. The people and these moments mean the world to me…